Things are whatever you say they are

Albert Ellis personality therapy of Cognitive theory states that, what causes us distress as human is not necessarily what happened to us but our belief about what happened to us. Unfortunately belief is deeper than opinion about situation, it’s a form of shoulds, oughts and musts that have been instilled in us over the years by culture, religion, upbringing and environment. Belief is usually so powerful that our thoughts automatically spring forth from it., thereby determining our behaviors. This is the reason why your journey might not be clear to others, but you. How clear are you about your belief regarding your dreams and calling?

A dear friend spoke to me recently, and said, “whenever I look at your pictures on social media, I normally ask, is this really Tolu? The truth is, I have come a long way, even though the journey has just began. I have so many instances of rejection, and belittling comments on my journey, some so painful that I needed to seek therapy to put them in perspectives. Somehow a lot of people couldn’t see what I’m seeing, I’m sure their beliefs about what it takes or means to be successful are limiting. 

How often do we hear people sayings stuffs like, no one can make it in Nigeria without cutting corners, no one understands mental health here, stop wasting your time, counseling is not our thing, Nigeria will frustrate you etc. 

I somehow formed this strong positive belief system, that there’s nothing impossible. irrational thoughts do come of course, but my faith in mental health counseling is too deep to be shaken. It’s our 3rd graduation even though the journey began about a decade ago, I looked back today, and I have so much to be grateful for.

One common comment our students usually made after their studies is, Dr. Tolu, everyone in Africa needs to go through the Institute of Counseling. Majority of them are pained that what we have is so transformational, and they are worried about how unpopular we seem. Yes I understand that African problem is poverty of the mind, a belief system that is rooted in negativity, wickedness, greediness, and fear of the unknown. But we have come along way, we are making progress even though it’s gradual, we are changing one life at a time and releasing armies of world changers to the world. Together, we will make mental health counseling what it is meant to be, a prestigious career that the world need like the air they breathe.

To the graduates, I do not know what is limiting you, or telling you, you are not enough. You know better that our society is dealing with a lot of dysfunctionality, we are practically messed up and the work is enormous. Wake up and carve a niche for yourself, challenge your irrational thoughts and create new experiences. The world is your stage go make things happen!

I’m grateful to God for how far he has taken us, and where He is taking us to. Nothing could have done without him. 

Life itself is tough, and thereby sometimes making achieving big  dreams a difficult task. But with a functioning support system, the journey becomes easier and big dreams achievable. I’m thankful to my support system, my husband who believed in me when no one does, the main masterminded of the vision, my kids who are so super amazing despite the challenges with time and my mum whose prayer is backing me up powerfully. 

My appreciation also go to the Institute board, no one can have you in their circle and feel stranded, your support has been amazing, both financially, guidance, direction and scrutinization., I am blessed to have you. Thank you to our passionate tutors who are carrying the vision like theirs, and staff of ICN who are super believers of the vision, to our Alumni who are always ready to push the campaign of mental wellness in Africa. Thank you!

Friends, families and well wishers, thank you for supporting our little beginning. 

We are going somewhere and what matters is we have started, and are not relenting. We are creating the future we already pictured, and eventually, it will turn out to be whatever we say it is!

Thank you all! 

The Executive Director Speech at the 3rd graduation ceremony of the Institute of Counseling.