Criticism is an act of expressing disapproval and noting the problems or faults of a person.
During my course work for my master’s degree, we do research presentation as part of our course work, so then, whenever a person present, the course professor gives us the chance to criticize the work that was presented. I personally observed people in my class take the comments that come from the critic personally by getting angry or keeping malice with whoever that criticize their work.
In life, we mostly expect complements and approval, but criticism helps identify our weaknesses and gives a clue on how to subdue such weakness.
Handling criticism is an important life skill. At some point in your life you will be criticized, perhaps in a professional way. Sometimes it will be difficult to accept but the good news is that you can either use criticism in a positive way to improve, or in a negative way that can lower your self-esteem and cause stress, anger or even aggression.
You will need to be assertive and possess good self-esteem to be able to handle criticism.
There are two types of criticism, we have:
Destructive Criticism
Constructive Criticism
Learning to recognize the difference between the two can help you deal with any criticism you may receive. The difference between destructive criticism and constructive criticism is the way in which comments are delivered, although both forms are challenging your ideas, character, or ability.
What is Destructive criticism?
Destructive criticism is the act of expressing disapproval with the intention to harm someone, derogate, and destroy someone’s creation, prestige, reputation, and self-esteem.
When someone is giving destructive criticism it can hurt your pride and have negative effects on your self-esteem and confidence. Destructive criticism in some cases leads to anger or aggression.
What is Constructive criticism?
Constructive criticism on the other hand is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one.
Constructive criticism is designed to point out your mistakes, but also show you where and how improvements can be made. Constructive criticism should be viewed as useful feedback that can help you improve yourself rather than put you down. When criticism is constructive it is usually easier to accept, even if it still hurts a little. In either scenario always try to remember that you can use criticism to your advantage.
There are some certain individuals that by nature they always say things that are hurtful and do not always realize that they are hurting the feelings of the other person. If you know a person who is like this, I will advise you to try your best not to take their comments too seriously, as this is just part of their character trait.
If you do take negative comments to heart it can create resentment and anger towards the other person, which could damage the relationship. Remember, people who criticize everything or make scathing remarks to be hurtful are the ones that need help, not you!
The key thing to remember is that whatever the circumstance is, don’t respond in anger as this will cause a scene and create bad feelings and possibly a bad image of you. Try to remain calm and treat the other person with respect and understanding. This will help to defuse the situation and potentially stop it from getting out of hand. Show that you are the stronger person and try not to rise to the bait, do not use it as a reason to offer counter-criticism. If you challenge the other person you may start an argument that is probably unnecessary. If you do feel that you may lose self-control or say or do something potentially damaging, walk away. Even though somebody´s negative remarks may hurt, it is more harmful to you to allow their criticism to be destructive to your confidence.
Conclusion:
In life, we have plenty of opportunities to learn and improve ourselves. Therefore, no matter what kind of criticism is aimed at you, analyze it to find something you can learn from it.
Also, note that there is usually some truth in the criticism, even when it appears to be given out of spite and bitterness. It is often the case that a slight on your character is a fair reflection of how another person sees you at that point in time. Take a step back and try to see things from the other person’s point of view, perhaps ask a friend for their honest opinion.
Use criticism wisely and as a learning experience. See if it is possible to learn a little about how others perceive you, you may be able to use criticism to improve your interpersonal skills.
By Nihinlola Eunice Olowe: Psychology & Research Department, Institute Of Counseling In Nigeria.
